You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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