if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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