the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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