i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
