apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
