her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
