He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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