i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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