I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize