lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
