I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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