i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
