I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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