Whod you bang
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
