Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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