she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize