you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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