Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
