I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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