Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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