shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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