That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
