The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
