sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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