I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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