It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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