i think i have two assholes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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