We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
