Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
