I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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