So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
