apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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