scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
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