i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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