Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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