cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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