She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
