Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
