We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
