I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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