What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
