Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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