The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
