Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
