Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
its liver damage thursday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
