it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
