I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
