I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
