but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We don't watch enough power rangers
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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