Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
