Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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