You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
