the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
accomplished twins. life is a go
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize