Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
