alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You may now shotgun with the bride
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
