i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
