sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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