I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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