I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
