I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
