So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
